Every parent has faced the same situation. A child comes to the parent\u2019s bedroom door and announces that he or she wants to sleep in the parent\u2019s bed. What is the right response?<\/p>\n
According to sleep researchers and child psychologists, it is important for children to learn to sleep in their own beds. Dr. Richard Ferber, in Solve Your Child\u2019s Sleep Problems writes that \u201cSleeping alone is an important part of his learning to be able to separate from you without anxiety and to see himself as a separate individual. This process is important to his early psychological development.\u201d<\/p>\n
A general rule of thumb appears to be that an occasional night in bed with the parents is OK, but that it is in no one\u2019s interest\u2014the child or the parent\u2019s\u2014to continue the practice on a regular basis. If you are a parent who enjoys or prefers having your child in bed with you\u2014be prepared to examine your motivations. If you otherwise would be alone at night (single parent, spouse travels frequently, etc) you may be using the child to serve your own needs for comfort and security\u2014and inadvertantly be subverting his or her own needs for independence and identity. If a child is brought into bed as a way to avoid confrontation or sexual intimacy with a partner\u2014you need to stop immediately from involving your child in a problem that is not of his making\u2014and solve your problems with your partner in an appropriate forum.<\/p>\n
If your child complains he is afraid to sleep by himself\u2014remember to work at solving the problem\u2014addressing the fear issues\u2014and to not give in to his wishes every time. In the long run, every one will benefit.<\/p>\n